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Worst Places To Stash Your Stuff. Your Rectum Is #1

Ok, I was kidding about the rectum part. If you’ve seen Pulp Fiction, you know the story of the watch Christopher Walken smuggled in his anus. Well, not counting Walken’s ass vault, MSN has a list of 16 places where you should not put your stuff. Some of these actually confirm long running beliefs I have had.

For instance, I can fall asleep very easily (almost instantly). Mrs. Quip has trouble falling asleep. The difference? Apparently it’s her tendency to completely cover herself with blankets. I always keep my legs outside.

Being overheated can keep you from nodding off, researchers say: A natural nighttime drop in your core temperature triggers your body to get drowsy. To ease your way to sleep, help your body radiate heat from your hands and feet… Don socks to dilate the blood vessels in the extremities ‚Äî then take the socks off and let a foot stick out from under the blankets.

The article is actually full of a lot of good information. Want to avoid airsickness? Avoid the tail section and sit near the wing. Want to avoid germs in public bathrooms? Stay away from the center stall. Where’s the worst place to store medicine? The medicine cabinet where high, steamy temperatures can exceed your medication’s safe storage temp.

My personal favorite, though was this little statistic.

[S]wabs showed up to 10,000 bacteria per square inch on purse bottoms ‚Äî and a third of the bags tested positive for fecal bacteria! A woman’s carryall gets parked in some nasty spots: on the floor of the bus, beneath the restaurant table ‚Äî even on the floor of a public bathroom. Put your bag in a drawer or on a chair, Gerba says ‚Äî anywhere except where food is prepared or eaten. (emphasis mine)

That’s right. Your wife’s or girlfriend’s purse is likely trekking the poo right into your house and kitchen – and they say men are the unclean gender.

Written by Michael Turk