Every time I say something is the dumbest thing I have ever seen, something else proves me wrong. So it’s with a good deal of trepidation that I say this may be the dumbest thing I have ever seen. It was so bad when I read it yesterday that I meant to post on it after I commented on the Rothenberg and Gregg posts. Unfortunately, I got busy.
Ruth Marcus – in disguise as the President – writes a letter to the twins announcing they have been released as part of a White House shake up. It’s truly beyond stupid and dredges up stuff that is so outdated it’s actually been retro twice and gone out of style again since.
This is a difficult letter for me, your Dad, to write. The two of you have been, your mother and I agree, valuable members of my administration. Yes, there have been a few unfortunate moments — actually, come to think of it, more than a few: the underage drinking bust; the next underage drinking bust; the sticking-out-the-tongue-at-the-photographers thing; the Valley Girl-style convention speech. Next time, please, girls, run it by Grandma, like she told you to in the first place…
Anyway, the Josh-for-Andy swap didn’t play quite as big as we hoped. Now, I’m getting killed with this general-a-day drumbeat on Rummy. So Uncle Don and Uncle Dick came up with this idea of replacing you two.
Naturally, Mommy and I were pretty reluctant, at first. But Uncle Don and Uncle Dick can be awfully persuasive — especially when Uncle Dick’s packing heat.
Come on, WaPo. Is that really the best material you can come up with and label as humorous satire? Jokes about five year old drunken escapades, a two year old convention speech and rehashed jabs at the Veep’s hunting accident? You need to hire some better writers.
If they didn’t give it away online, this piece of garbage would have led me to cancel my subscription. Thank god I don’t pay for the Post.