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Unsolicited Advice For Celebrities

My good friend Anne and I were having drinks with friends tonight and got into a discussion about the train wreck that is Britney Spears. Reports indicate Spears lost custody of her children after being caught driving without a valid California license (despite possibly being legally licensed in Louisiana). Apparently she had been told to get a California license since she’s been living there for years. She refused, then took the kids for a drive this weekend.

So Anne and I are talking and I mention the fact that I am considering a Britney related post. After begging me to leave the poor girl alone, I explained my perspective. This post is not going to add yet another voice to the chorus beating up on Britney. Instead, I’d like to take this opportunity to address the larger issue of celebrities and their poor hiring decisions.

Celebs generally hire personal assistants, publicists, makeup artists, stylists and countless other staff to make their life easier. The one position they all need to fill is “Driver”.

If you look at most of the problems celebs have had over the last year, it all comes down to one thing – they all involved celebs trying to drive themselves. Keifer, Nicole, Lindsay, Britney, Paris, Mel, etc. etc. All of them were driving themselves and should have had someone else do the job.

Had Mel had a driver, he wouldn’t be staring down the business end of anti-semitism charges. Had Paris called a car service, she would have avoided jail time. If Lindsay had someone waiting curbside, she could go on being a giant coke whore and nobody would care.

It’s not like limos are all that hard to come by in LA. It’s not like the expense is that great given these are people who spend $2,000 on ugly pants and huge sunglasses. It’s just amazing that the one thing that could keep them out of trouble is the one accessory they don’t have.

Written by Michael Turk