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The McCain Girls Hold America Hostage for J-Mac

Back in the 1980s, Weird Al Yankovic appeared on the scene and convinced every schmuck with rhyming ability that they could make millions by bastardizing pop tunes. I know, I was there, and I lyrically destroyed more than a few tunes while drinking with friends.

Unfortunately, not everyone outgrew that fad and now a fearsome threesome have decided to make truly horrible remixes of old tunes to promote the candidacy of one John Sidney McCain.


In the case of the McCain girls, I think they have the right idea, but the wrong marketing. They’re trying to help McCain, but going about it the wrong way. What they really need to do is release something that looks like a terrorist hostage video. They would have a big map of America and hold a knife up to it.

The audio would feature the McCain girls pledging to release one music video a week between now and the election unless two demands are met. First, the Democrats must immediately concede the election to J-Mac. Second, five million dollars must be deposited into a Cayman Islands account.

I guarantee you, by the time July or August rolls around, if they keep making these god awful videos, five million bucks and the presidency will feel like a small price to pay for not having to watch them anymore.

Written by Michael Turk