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The Coconut Telegraph

NewsPoliticsCrimeGovernment WasteSo much news, so little time.

Tom DeLay is stepping down. It’s really a good move on his part because it takes him away as an albatross. Sure the Democrats will still say that Republicans are corrupt, awash in tainted money, blah, blah, blah… But they won’t have DeLay to kick around anymore. While the money laundering charges are a bunch of BS but nobody knows that. In addition, DeLay’s staff was apparently having a contest to see who could roll in more graft (“Third prize is you’re fired.”) and running a legislative chop shop. That probably adds up to a big loss, even in a 55% GOP district.

Moussaoui can be charbroiled. They were deliberating for four days, but something tells me they actually reached a verdict in the first 30 seconds and spent the rest of the time playing Scene It on the DVD in the jury room.

Katie Couric is jumping ship to anchor the CBS evening news. She’s expected to make an announcement soon, make a smooth transition, and eventually join the effort to bring down President Bush the CBS news team.

President Bush threw out the first pitch yesterday in Cincinnati. It’s a GOP friendly town and one of the few places they could guarantee a chorus of cheers rather than howls. His pitch wasn’t great, but at least he threw from the mound and didn’t bounce it.

New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin is fighting with FEMA again. This squabble apparently has to deal with a trailer park the government is setting up for housing.

FEMA said the project in question, in the city’s Algiers area, was approved along with eight others last December. To shut it down would be a waste of $1.6 million already spent there, spokesman Darryl Madden said.

“The city must determine whether they wish FEMA to complete the site and house these 34 displaced families — or reimburse the federal government for development costs of this site approved four months ago,” Madden said.

WTF!!!???!?!?!??!!! 1.6 million to house 34 families? You could cut every family a check for $47,000 grand for that amount. They could move to just about anywhere and not have to live in a shitty trailer. But then we wouldn’t be supporting the federal jobs program government.

Finally, the Wall Street Journal details the use of the Patriot Act to catch a baby formula thief (sorry, need to subscribe for this one). It’s kind of an interesting read. The first third of the article seems to argue that the Patriot Act was misused. The second third explains that this guy was a scumbag who probably should be behind bars – he had at least cursory connections with some very bad people and rants against the US while enriching himself through crime. The last third argues that even if he is a douchebag, the Patriot Act was misused.

That’s the news in a nutshell. Now get back to work.

Written by Michael Turk