Stuff They Don’t Tell You About Being A Dad
I am constantly discovering all the things nobody tells you about being a parent – “life’s lessons”, as it were, about child ownership.
For instance, kid’s LOVE band-aids. ¬†The only thing better you can put on an apendage is a temporary tattoo. ¬†Band-aids are simply the coolest. ¬†They are so cool, in fact, that you don’t actually need to be broken to use them. ¬†If you bump your knee on a table, or the ground, that is good enough. You can go find your first aid kit and patch yourself right up – with not one, but at least three or four of the magic strips. ¬†So why, you ask, does this really matter? ¬†Why do parents need to know that kids love band-aids?
This becomes critically important when you are slicing into 9 pounds of freshly cured bacon with an incredibly sharp knife and go right through one of your fingers. ¬†Invariably, you will rush to the bathroom (or, as was the case today, ask your wife to do so while you staunch the flow of blood). ¬†Upon close inspection,¬†however¬† you will discover only two band-aids in the house, and neither is up to the task of covering your gushing wound.
No band-aids for you! ¬†You’re a parent! ¬†Band-aids are for kids. ¬†What you get is something cobbled together from gauze and first aid tape that that looks like this: