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State of the Union and Dean’s Weak Response

PoliticsDC’s version of the Oscars came and went last night. The political elite gathered and the President announced that the state of our union is good. The whole time, I couldn’t help thinking three things. First, has any president ever said the state of our union sucks? Second, is it just me, or did Alito seem a little too star struck. Dear god man, you’re a Supreme Curt Justice. Have some dignity. And finally, what would Dean say about all of this?

Fortunately, I didn’t have to wait long to answer the last one. My action alert arrived in my e-mail almost immediately (at least, I think it was some sort of action alert – if the ask is buried in the 83rd paragraph, does it still count?).

[H]e failed to answer the real questions ordinary Americans have about the state of our union:

When will we have a new strategy in Iraq that protects American lives? …And when will we secure our ports and chemical and nuclear plants, which remain vulnerable?

When will the Republican Party put its responsibility to the people before its greed and thirst for power?

When will President Bush and the Republican Congress wake up to the economic crisis tens of millions of Americans face?

When will we finally do something for the 46 million Americans who lack health insurance?

When will we make serious strides towards energy independence?

When will he take steps to further ensure retirement security for every American?

Honestly, I don’t think those were the questions on the lips of every American last night. I’d guess about 3/4 of Americans were actually asking:

Dear God, is every f—ing station showing this thing?

Why do I pay so much for TV? There are 187 channels of crap on.

Why did they have to cancel Love Monkey for this?

Have I run out of f—ing Cheetos already?

It’s awfully quiet in here. Did I forget to pick up the kids again?

Honey, can you bring me another beer when you come back in here?

Who the f— is Tim Kaine?

What will Howard Dean make of all of this?

Ok, that last one was a joke. Nobody gives a wet rat turd what Dean thinks. To be completely honest, I only had two questions, but I needed a premise for this post. Sorry Howard.

Written by Michael Turk