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Romney: Hunting the Great White Lie

Mitt Romney is pathetic. It’s one thing for a Presidential candidate, in the thick of a pitched battle one week before the general election to exaggerate his hunting prowess to win over the other guys voters. It’s entirely a different matter to tell audiences, almost a year before the primaries, to blatantly pander to hunters by claiming you are a lifelong hunter when what you really mean is you went hunting once as a child, and once last week.

I’ve been deer hunting twice, and used to shoot rabbits and gophers on my uncle’s cattle ranch. I hardly consider myself a lifelong hunter. That’s just retarded. Pandering should be a crime punishable by allowing registered voters the right to walk up and slap you upside your enormous, pretentious, over-ego-inflated head.

There must also be something in the water in Massachusetts that causes pathological lying. When are you going kite-surfing, Mitt?

Written by Michael Turk