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MusicTelevisionCrimes Against MusicSo I’ve been watching RockStar:Supernova all season only to find the time spent was a complete and total waste of time. Last night’s finale was a complete and total affront to all that is music.

If you haven’t been watching, or didn’t catch last season, I’ll give you the Reader’s Digest version. Fifteen wannabe rock stars sing for Gilby Clark (of Guns and Roses), Tommy Lee (of Motley Crue), and Jason Newsted (of Metallica) who are putting together a band comprised, apparently, of aging rockers that nobody else in the music business wants to work with anymore. The best singer (theoretically) gets to be the front man for this collection of giant egos.

So last night their choice came down to Dilanna (sort of a strange looking South African-Texan hybrid who can really bust out a song), Toby (a really strong Australian performer that was, week after week, the best of them all), Lukas (a former wing-slinger at Hooters who gave the same performance every week regardless of what song he was singing) and Magni (a bald Icelander who was more likable than charismatic, but still had pipes).

In a spectacular attack on all that music stands for, they picked Lukas. Magni lost out early when he and Toby ended up in the bottom two. Toby escaped only to get booted moments later. Toby, if the contest was based on talent, stage presence, and ability, should have been their singer.

Dilanna was exceptional, and all of the Supernova members praised her, but I really think she would be better as a solo artist, rather than fronting this group of pseudo-has-beens. The band even acknowledged that Dilanna was a phenom when they offered to write, produce, and play on her solo album.

So why Lukas? God knows I can’t answer that. Maybe they’re looking for someone who can make Tommy Lee look normal, make Jason Newsted look attractive, and won’t challenge them for poon on the tour. I honestly don’t know.

All I do know is when they all took the stage, Lukas’ and Gilby’s voices clashed so terribly, and sounded so bad together, that Mrs. Quip and I agreed we could take no more and flipped the channel. I suspect a lot of potential fans (which, even if they picked Toby, I, probably would have a hard time considering myself) did the same.

Update: From the “Life’s Irony Is Sweet” file comes news that a judge has enjoined Tommy Lee’s band from using the name “Supernova” since another band has been using the name for 17 years and put out several albums under that moniker. So CBS just spent several months and millions of dollars on branding a show (and a band) that no longer exists a day later. You gotta love it.

Written by Michael Turk