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I Confess

I have a new secret addiction. After reading this little article in the Miami Herald, I clicked through to and wandered through a handful of the “confessions” people have posted online. Some of them are depressing, some of them are appaling, and some of them just make me laugh.

I Googled “Anonymous Online Confessions” and found the Herald was right. There are literally hundreds of these sites. Some ask you for a name and e-mail address to leave an “anonymous” confession (which kind of defeats the purpose, yet people are still filling them out.) The best site I have found is

Some of my favorites so far…

After 8 years I would rather masturbate in my car than have sex with you. Sorry.

I would like to be a successful man, but the truth is, at this point of my life, I’m a loser.

Why do chicks always pretend to be horny as hell at the beginning of relationships and then just let it go? Do you think we’re not going to notice that we’re not getting laid anymore? Next time at least do me the favour of not getting increasingly jealous as you become less and less sexual… it’s a rather unattractive combination.

I look at other guys penises in the restrooms when I am peeing.

I just farted and my two co-workers think it’s the vegetarian over the wall! Tee hee!

I’ve spent entire weeks at work surfing the internet. The worst part is, I work in a field where I’m supposed to be helping people. I lie my way out of everything, and my recent performance review was actually above average. I’m literally the laziest person I know. In the year I’ve been working at my current job, I’ve probably done two full weeks of work.

I’m going to break up with him because he doesn’t spoil me enough. I’m spoiled. And I think I deserve it.

My 4 year old son aims his butt at me and farts at me. The little shit.

I may be a little TOO easy…

This is so much better that Twitter… 🙂

Written by Michael Turk