I woke up feeling like it’s one of those days that make me want to point out stuff that sucks. That made me realize that I had not really been commenting on the pop culture side of my pop culture and politics blog. So it’s time for another DVD review.
The lucky DVD today is Ultraviolet. It opened in March with nine million dollar weekend and then disappeared fast. I have to admit I’m a big fan of the female lead – Milla Jovovich. She’s extensively easy on the eyes, so she keeps getting cast despite being a dreadful actress. In this movie, her near-total lack of acting talent is on full display.
The premise to the movie is a blood disease has turned many humans into light-sensitive super humans – with great speed and strength. The humans come to think of the afflicted as vampires and fear them. Milla plays a sort of pseudo-vampire assassin who despite not actually being a vampire can be resurrected over and over.
With characters operating at hyper-speed, the action sequences had the potential to be amazing Matrix-esque scenes with the “vampires” dodging bullets and such. But the action felt forced and low-budget. The camera work was dizzying – which is usually said in a good way, but not this time.
The plot also involved a bizarre lost-love/lost-child storyline that added nothing and really just added 10 minutes to an otherwise 80 minute movie.
If you’re looking for an action movie, this isn’t it. If you’re looking for a date movie, you’re also out of luck on that. If you want to watch Milla Jovovich act badly and change colors as she jumps around – and don’t expect to see her naked – then this is the movie for you. (If you’d prefer to see her in the buff, albeit briefly, watch The Fifth Element. If you’d rather avoid nudity, but are ok with underwear, check out Kuffs.)