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Big News Day

PoliticsIt’s a big news day in politics. Not only has the special prosecutor indicated he will not indict Karl Rove (did you hear the huge sigh of relief in this town early this morning?), but apparently the Democrats have finally decided to stand for something (subscription required).

While the Rove story is on the front page of almost every electronic news outlet, the Democrats agenda didn’t even warrant a front page mention on Roll Call. Honestly, I think that’s bigger news if it actually contains something specific. My bet is it won’t, however. Here’s my guess as to what is in their agenda:

  • Reduce U.S. reliance on non-renewable energy.
  • Expand public and private health insurance.
  • Raise the Minimum Wage
  • Create New Jobs
  • Strengthen the Middle Class
  • Restore Fiscal Discipline
  • Fully Fund No-Child Left Behind

Sound familiar? It should. It’s the Kerry Plan. I would bet money that they do not offer up a lot more than these bullet points. It will sound really good, but offer no specifics. So let me interpret what it means.

  • Reduce U.S. reliance on non-renewable energy – Pay platitudes to actually kicking the oil habit, raise taxes to fund a few new clean energy initiatives that will soon be forgotten and go back to relying on an oil based economy.
  • Expand public and private health insurance – raise taxes to pay for increased federal involvement in health care, allow trial lawyers to savage care providers and drive up costs, occasionally suggest a universal health care plan based on some marginally first-world foreign country.
  • Raise the Minimum Wage – Increase the burden on small business owners in the name of an obscure minority that actually receive the minimum wage anymore because many states have passed higher minimum wage laws than the fed requires anyway.
  • Create New Jobs – Think “Economic Stimulus Package” or in other words, raise taxes.
  • Strengthen the Middle Class – By taxing prosperity and increasing the amount of money flowing to the welfare state we will continue our efforts to ensure that only the Hollywood elite and our friends in the media receive excessive pay for doing little actual work.
  • Restore Fiscal Discipline – Raise taxes.
  • Fully Fund No-Child Left Behind – Raise taxes.

That’s my guess. If it sounded like there is a common thematic in there (hint: raising taxes for damn near everything), that’s probably for good reason.

Written by Michael Turk